- Devote. Cherish. Appreciate -

Focus on your happiness, learn to self care, only then you will be able to appreciate  Cherish, always cherish every single moment with your loved ones, you won’t know what’s gonna happen next, don’t regret People do much more than you think they do, do not assume, people might be going through a difficult times just that you are not aware of  Those are some of the takeaways that I had when I took the wrong move. I felt so broken and torn after that... even until now... I guess I acted that way was because I didn’t want others to judge... I was so torn... but I get it now... it ain’t matter how people judge you, what matters is that it came from within.... I went back because I was worried, because I was scared, and because I was mad and angry for my actions that I did...  one very last thing.... you don’t have to care what the other judge or think... I’m slowly and trying to overcome this part... I hope I’ll learn and get over it.... I hope and pray that everything goes well tomorrow.

Some things can be explained, some things can't be explained... well I guess this is where I come here to reflect on how I feel to seek for any advices if there are any? I did a lot of self reflections recently, be it good or bad, be it for personal or for work.. lots of things also happened for the past few months, some good, some not so. But we make the decision on how we want to see things, we decide how we want to feel, except for some where we couldn't control... Let me just mentioned some things that went well and I was happy of for the past few months: My sister has finally cleared all her modules!! I'm really proud of her! Studying is not her forte but she has put in a lot of hardwork and I'm really very happy for her. I can't wait for her to start working soon. Hopefully she's able to find a job with a decent pay My body percentage fat decreased by 4% as compared to last year which I'm really happy about BUT my weight increased which kinds of feels

It's been a long time... Reasons for me coming back to blog was because a lot of emotions piled up... I just lost my beloved grandma on the 3 Feb 2020, it came as a sudden shock to me.. she was hospitalized on the 17 Feb and discharged on the 24 Feb.. I visited her in the hospital everyday, asked her if she remembers my name and I would so happy that she remembers and said my name correctly. I was happy that she was able to respond to some of the questions that I asked her.. we were also able to celebrate the Chinese New Year together with my grandma.. since then I do notice that she's not too responsive to me... that made me sad... I hold on to her hands, told her who I am hoping that she will call my name again. Every single visit become more heartbreaking for me... 2 Feb was the last time that I saw my grandma... she was significantly weaker.. which brought me to tears... 3 Feb, I received messages from my sister saying that she's not in the good condition according

I had dinner date with my dad yesterday since my mum and sister went out with my aunt. Dinner was spicy! Loads of chilli! But the company was heartwarming :)) After dinner, we went home and rested on the sofa... my dad then broke into a conversation... he told me that grandpa could have survived past 100 plus years old if not because of what had happened... and yes, I agreed with him... after the conversation, alot of thoughts went through my mind... my dad hasn't gotten over the fact that he had lost his beloved father... I'm not writing this to say that he should get over it since he's a guy or whatsoever, everyone also have feelings even guys... I was quite emotional by the fact that he had brought this conversation up with me... I was trying hard to hold back my tears not to break down in front of him... it was a tough night... after the conversation I had to find excuse to go to the bathroom to let it out... it was just too much to hold it in... I am still missing m

Realised I haven't been posting much lately... lots of things came up recently some good but mostly bad.... At this point in time, I'm not sure if I had made the right decision anymore, I'm not sure of where I wanna go... I'm just very lost... It's simple as A or B but if I take any one the other one will get hurt, best choice, drop both... or disappear from here.. It just hurts so much at times that I had to control it so much just not to show... it's tough... real tough... can anyone help me pleasee?

It's been a very long time... the reason I'm back here to post again because I've been storing a lot of emotions inside me... First of all, I've finally graduated from university and started to enter the workforce. It was quite stressful for me at the start but I sort of gotten used to it. However when I was handled over to take over the work, that's when the real stress kicks in... lots of changes to make, lots of requirements from the clients resulting me to work overtime, becomes very stressful...  At times like that I kept a lot to myself... it was until when people asked me when I'm okay that I started to tear up... showing my weakness... that was bad... since both of my closest colleagues were out for lunch and I didn't I tried to cool down before they came back... One of them saw me and came up to me to ask if I'm okay, that's when I tear up again... which makes me feel very vulnerable.... I did talked to him after work in the MRT... I